Being single is actually pretty difficult. At times it can be quite lonely, upsetting and definitely frustrating. Especially when every book, tv series, and film revolves around finding ‘The One’ and how this will allow you to FINALLY feel whole or complete and you’ll have amazing sex and live happily ever after. This accomplishment is then reenforced in the real world by the seemingly happy couples on social media sent right to our phones and the invitations to the masses of celebrations surrounding love such as engagement parties, bridal showers, hen dos and weddings.
When you are reminded of how alone you are all the time, and how much you lack this accomplishment, you can often feel like you are missing out on all the fun experiences and your life doesn’t quite compare. However, embracing the single life can actually uncover many great benefits that are often overlooked.
As I am in need of being reminded of all these benefits that mean I love living my best single life, I thought I would take you through my reasons and why they matter to me, so enjoy.
1. THE FREEDOM TO INVEST IN YOURSELF
Being single provides more time for you to focus on yourself. You check your phone less, have less emotional upset and less worries for your partner which provides more mental capacity for individually focussed thought.
By spending more time thinking about yourself and yourself only, you are provided with specific type of freedom that allows you to learn, grow, experiment, seek adventure and take risks without being tied down to one place or one person. You truly learn how to be self sufficient by channelling into your wants and desires and then going after them without having to ask or tell anybody and without having to worry about their feelings as you do it.
There is no guilt for investing time in yourself which is the most important thing. You’re free. You can do whatever you want when you want to do it and all you have to worry about is how badly you want it.
2. LEARNING TO LOVE YOUR OWN COMPANY
This is something that always has baffled me, because I have always loved spending time alone, however it was only once I moved away to university that I realised I got really anxious when people weren’t around when I decided I didn’t want to be alone anymore. Taking the huge step to go shopping by yourself, sit in the park and read a book alone or have a coffee or meal without company is actually one of the most terrifying things you can do. However, it can also be the most liberating.
As you begin to teach yourself how to truly be happy alone, you will stop the need to chase other people for company and approval. This means we become more selective about the company we do have because we will only be spending time with those that contribute to our lives.
When we decide we want a partner, they will have to be someone that adds to our life and makes it better. We will be less likely to settle into a relationship that doesn’t make us happy to fill that desperate need for company or out of fear of being alone. And this pickiness in finding a partner that only benefits you, means you will not have feelings of regret in twenty years from picking the wrong person to settle down with or missing out on the fun years of your life.
3. INVESTING IN MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY
Having more time in general that isn’t constantly filled up with your significant other can also lead to investing more time in our friends and family. Being more reliant on friends and family for that emotional support that we do not get from a partner can lead to more stable and deeper connections that will last longer and provide more to our lives.
It has also been shown that people that excel in making, building and maintaining friendships are more prepared and have more successful relationships in the future. So sometimes I like to think about my time being single as preparation for any relationship that eventually comes my way
4. BEING HEALTHIER
Single men and women have actually been shown to have lower BMI’s on average than those in relationships. I’m assuming this has multiple reasons behind it such as not having someone to encourage takeaway evenings or spoil you with chocolates, not being too comfortable and having more of a need to be desired by others and having more time to work out due to the time and energy available to spend on yourself. Whatever the reasons, not having that ‘special someone’ is keeping you fitter.
Science has also proven single women suffer from less risks associated with smoking and drinking, and single men have a lowered risk of heart related illnesses on average than those in marriages. This means that without the stress of a relationship, your body is actually thriving and doing a much better job of looking after itself.
5. GETTING BETTER SLEEP
Okay this is not scientific and so I didn’t feel like I could lump it together with being healthier, but the fact is: you sleep miles better on your own than with someone else. Don’t get me wrong, I love to be cuddled in the night, but I also would not trade that for being able to spread out and starfish in my bed without worrying about how much room someone else may or may not have. My duvet is always where I want it, whether that’s under me, over me, scrunched up by my feet or hanging off the side and I have no need to flip my pillow to the cold side because I can just roll over to use another one instead. When it’s hot in the middle of a heatwave, I don’t have someone else radiating heat next to me making it even warmer, and when its winter I don’t have someone keeping me up with their snoring because they have a cold. All in all, its just pretty understated the more and much better-quality sleep you get from being alone.
As a side note, in my past relationships (which were not the healthiest) I lost a lot of sleep from worrying about my significant other. Whether we had had a horrible argument and gone to bed angry, what time they had gotten home from a club; if at all, if they had met someone else and was cheating on me or if they rang me drunk to chat, for a lift or even just to have a go at me for whatever reason. Either way, since I dumped my dusty ex’s I sleep like a baby, undisturbed and worry free.
6. THE FINANCIAL INDEPENDENCE
Being single has many financial benefits. For example, the main ones that spring to mind is the fact you don’t have to spend money on presents for birthdays, Christmases, Valentine’s Day and those ‘just because’. I will also save countless pennies from date nights, meals, drinks, weekends away, cinemas and takeaways every week by only catering to what I want to do.
Another aspect to the financial independence that comes with being single is the fact that I have more of a control on your income and therefore my life. I will be less likely to live somewhere I can’t afford by myself by remaining single meaning I will never be tied to someone out of fear of losing money on a house or an investment. By living by my own rules I get to choose my own subscriptions and my bills are completely controlled by me making them significantly lower. If eventually I do meet someone later on, I will already have a pretty sweet set up that can be moulded to make more convenient for the both of us, but I will never be afraid to leave if things aren’t working out.
Finally, By being single I do not have to bankrupt myself in order to fork out on one day to signify how much I love someone else. I do not have to spend money on other people’s meals, drinks, or their dresses and suits, to celebrate my own love. And on the DL, as an ex-wedding venue worker, I know how ridiculously expensive the most special day of your life can be and honestly half the time it isn’t that special. As a single woman I will not have to put myself into masses of debt that may not be paid off by the time a divorce comes around, and that, to me, is pretty damn beautiful.